Friday, July 16, 2010

Move the F*****ck On!!!!


Today is the day i first met my phone. We were introduced by a very good friend of mine. We were a little slow to hit it off in the beginning mainly because I wanted my phone to be a little flashy and trendy. But my phone turned out to be a Samsung Guru. It was plain, black and perfectly at home hidden away in the darkest recesses of my pocket.

We got over these initial hiccoughs soon enough. The more I learnt about Guru, the more I liked it and soon we became great buddies. We were inseparable. Numerous have been the times we have lost each other amidst the thronging crowds of a mall or restaurant. But its always found its way back into my hands. Its been with me through thick and thin and together we've scraped through a lot of tight situations. Its been such a good friend that it has taken the fall for me many times (quite literally).

But lately I've been feeling a little out of touch with it. It seems we have been drifting apart for some time. Without us realising it, our priorities have changed and we are no longer on the same wavelength. I don't think I see a future in this relationship. I really think we need to Move On. This year has been great.. It really has, but I think I deserve something more. I would really like a better looking model - a bigger frontal display maybe and definitely slimmer. (I'm sure the ladies would prefer different features in their dream phones, this is purely from a guy perspective). I really hope this entire thing doesn't become a big drama.. We are sensible adults and I'm sure it will understand. I've moved on and I've already set my eyes on another model... What the f*****ck more does it expect? Does it expect me to f*****cking beg for forgiveness? Did you really expect it to last for more than a year? What era do you live in? Move On!! Damn It! Move the F*****ck On!!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Damselflies in the wind



My dad grew up in a village called Kainakery in Kerala. Its in the coastal district of Alappuzha and is situated on the banks of the Pamba river. The back waters of Kerala is spoken off as a must see tourist destination. My dad was born there and my grandparents still live there. We used to visit them every year and spend at least a week there before we proceeded east to the hills where my mom had her house.
Its a small house, right on the bank of the river. A small lane separates the river from the mass of branches that serves as a compound wall. What an urban concept - a compound wall. Its just a line of sticks of a certain plant that are thrust into the ground. Give it a few months and you get a sturdy green fence. I forgot the name of the plant though grandpa told us about it. What I do remember is that the fence was the best place to catch damselflies.

Until a few years back, the only way to get there was by boat. We get down at the Alappuzha railway station and take a taxi to the main jetty. Then we take a boat from there to the Kainakary Panchayat jetty. If I remember correctly, the tickets cost Rs 6 each. Its a big boat and the pilot sits in a small cabin on top. I used to love those trips. My sister and I used to sit right in front and pretend we were the pilots. My parents used to have a hard time keeping us in our seats and out of the water while keeping an eye on the luggage at the same time. Grandpa would always be there on the jetty, waiting to welcome us.

More often than not my uncles used to join us and it seemed the tiny house would burst at the seams with the number of people trampling about inside. All of us kids would used to get together and tramp off to the river and grandpa used to accompany us to make sure we never jumped in. Every house situated on the bank has individual access to the river by a set of stone steps that lead down into the river. Since my grandparents never used it.. It lay crumbling and the stones were covered with algae, making them very slippery.

Please appacha, I'm just wetting my legs. I wont jump in.
No! The rocks are slippery and you'll fall in!
Appacha
, can I wet my legs too? Appu is doing it. I want to stand in the water too!!!

Boy, did my grandpa have a tough time keeping us out of trouble. We were noisy, mischievous and found the most devious of ways to irritate the adults. But every time it was time to leave, he used to fight hard to keep his tears to himself. Grandma always cried when she kissed us goodbye, but not him. He would stay aloof the whole time we packed and then accompany as to the jetty and wait till we were safely onto the boat and wait there till the boat was out of sight.

Kainakary has changed a lot the last few years. Most of the first families that set up the village by battling the very river that is their life blood have moved on. Most of the houses, like our ancestral home, lie deserted and lifeless. (The ancestral home is where my grandpa grew up) The residents have either died out and their children, like my father, had migrated elsewhere, or they have moved to towns like Changenachery and Alleppuzha. The houses stand like empty shells reluctant to let go of their lost splendour or has been turned into tourist resorts by enterprising locals and large hospitality chains, their walls now adorned with cheap imitations of old artifacts, all to give an 'authentic' feel of course.

My father used to tell me stories of his childhood, of the colourful characters who made up the core of village life. They have all but disappeared now, those that are still alive sit around the small tea stalls recounting stories that no one else wants to know about. (Except people like my dad). My dad told me once that they never used to carry water bottles to school.... who would be stupid enough to do that? The school was right on the bank of the river.. (Right across from our home by the way). Now, the first thing we do when we reach Alleppuzha is buy two crates of Bislery drinking water. Today, you are more likely to see a bakpacker from Europe on the banks of the Pampa than a fisherman readying his nets. Of course, the only people who actually take to fishing in the river are old fishermen who know no other way to make a living or fraud mallus like me and my cousins who play-act with a hook tied to a dried stick.

When dad is feeling nostalgic or right after his best friend Sunny Kappankal or grandpa calls up to tell him about the demise of another one of Kainakary's residents, he tells me about the giant cat that used to live in the loft above the house, about his grandfather and his house, of the intense political debates that took place in the comfy environs of the local tea shop, about the magician priest who blessed my great grandfather's fields to get rid of vermin and of late night fishing trips on a borrowed vallam with his best friends for company. He never misses the Nehru Trophy Boat Race on TV. He sits down in front of the TV on the second Saturday of every August and relives his college days when he himself was the captain of a boat that took part in the minor races (without his parents knowledge of course). His excitement is infectious, like a boy with his favourite toy. He went to Alleppuzha last year to watch the races and for the next two months the music system in our car played a CD of vallam paattukal which he had brought back with him.

Its been a long time
since I've seen a damselfly. Every time I see one though or at least think of one, I remember the times I used to run across the mittam with my sister, chasing damselflies in the wind.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Love at First Sight

She is so beautiful!! Be it sun or rain, she has a beauty of her own. She's always got this alluring mystery about her and I guess that's what attracted me to her first. Our meetings were few and far between - she didn't mind , she's got too many admirers for her to miss me. It was the same place, every year. Whenever I went with my family to the beaches of Alappuzha, she was there, waiting. I don't know how or why, but the sense of mystery was always there.

To get over the painful months of separation, I hooked myself to her shows on TV. Every day I used to get back home and after homework and after my usual dose of Swat Cats and the Centurions, I used to sit down to indulge myself; and boy was she beautiful. I felt very jealous though. she was always off dancing and flirting with those bloody phirangs. I felt like pummeling them. But what could I do; I was sitting in a small house in Bangalore while they, oblivious to the world, were serenading each other in Hawaii and New Zealand.

That didn't stop me. I had this foolish commitment to her and I was determined to hunt her down. What else do you expect, I was a naive 13 year old brought up on a healthy dose of mushy Mallu movies and happily ever afters. I decided to be a Marine Biologist. I searched for courses and universities to study in and even subscribed to the Marine Bio newsletter from Marine Bio. I prepared for a life dedicated to her and our meetings in the sly continued. We spent an extended weekend together at Goa when I went there with family and I must say, I have never seen her more beautiful. My most intimate memory of her is the morning we spent together at Waga beach. The waters were so serene and I can never forget the emotions i felt as i spent 4 hours with her. That is a day I will never forget.

Unfortunately, as with most romantic relationships in India, my family opposed our relationship. It was actually less of an opposition and more of a systematic brainwashing. I dont blame them though, they just did what they felt was best for my future. They never said an outright no. My relatives took turns at pointing out the hardships I would have to face in a life with her. My mom kept hinting at how she would love it if I settled down with someone a little more traditional and conservative. My dad complained about how she seemed to be pulling me away from my other near and dear ones. They didn't actually have to try very hard or for very long. I knew that they were right; she was very reluctant to settle down in India, and life would indeed have been very tough. To my mind, at that age, that was enough. I was just a confused adolescent who had no idea where he wanted to take his life.

I broke up with her soon after. Like I said before, she didn't care at all. She has far too many admirers to miss one scrawny 16 year old. I didn't feel all that bad either. I told myself that it was just an infatuation and I still believe it was one. There were no emotional scars and I still don't feel bad about it. It just faded away, just like my boyhood craze for Hotwheels cars. I do meet her once in a while though. She still welcomes me with open arms whenever I go to her. She stays just 20 minutezs away from college. We go there once in a while and she is always there, just as beautiful as ever.

( This a post about a phase in my life when my ambition was to become a Marine Biologist. I used to love the oceans and I still do, though it has mellowed down a bit. That is one of the reasons why I named my blog Debris in the Sea. Its so vast and inexplored that it strangely reminds me of life. There is a lot of stuff u find in it - driftwood and lots of junk. Once in a while though you come across a shiny shell or a piece of sea glass or if you are really lucky a spanish doubloon!! This blog is a collection of my treasures from the sea. My bits of sea glass.)

Nemo


I wanted to name my blog Nemo.. u know... after the nameless captain of the Nautilus. I thought it added a sense of mystery to it. Or maybe I just liked the guy,or rather the idea that was the man ... Nemo. The fearless wanderer of the seas; captain of a crew of the hardiest seamen in the world - men of different nations, brought together under the banner of the Nautilus. He appealed to me - his sense of loss and his thirst for revenge; his rage, courage, compassion and honour. To me he's still the perfect anti-hero. I loved him when I first read the book and I still do.

The romantic in me just cant let of him. I used to dream of a life like his or like Tarzan's (one of my other childhood heroes). They are out of societies grasp yet capture its imagination. They manifest its deepest fears and yet are its greatest heroes.

Of course these aren't the main reasons why I like Nemo. I like Nemo because, when i was a kid he helped me dream and now, when I have forgotten how to do that, he reminds me of those days when I believed that even I could one day be a Nemo myself. Well who says I can't?... I may very well be the next Tarzan..... no..... Batman seems cooler. I think I'll be Batman!