Saturday, May 15, 2010

Love at First Sight

She is so beautiful!! Be it sun or rain, she has a beauty of her own. She's always got this alluring mystery about her and I guess that's what attracted me to her first. Our meetings were few and far between - she didn't mind , she's got too many admirers for her to miss me. It was the same place, every year. Whenever I went with my family to the beaches of Alappuzha, she was there, waiting. I don't know how or why, but the sense of mystery was always there.

To get over the painful months of separation, I hooked myself to her shows on TV. Every day I used to get back home and after homework and after my usual dose of Swat Cats and the Centurions, I used to sit down to indulge myself; and boy was she beautiful. I felt very jealous though. she was always off dancing and flirting with those bloody phirangs. I felt like pummeling them. But what could I do; I was sitting in a small house in Bangalore while they, oblivious to the world, were serenading each other in Hawaii and New Zealand.

That didn't stop me. I had this foolish commitment to her and I was determined to hunt her down. What else do you expect, I was a naive 13 year old brought up on a healthy dose of mushy Mallu movies and happily ever afters. I decided to be a Marine Biologist. I searched for courses and universities to study in and even subscribed to the Marine Bio newsletter from Marine Bio. I prepared for a life dedicated to her and our meetings in the sly continued. We spent an extended weekend together at Goa when I went there with family and I must say, I have never seen her more beautiful. My most intimate memory of her is the morning we spent together at Waga beach. The waters were so serene and I can never forget the emotions i felt as i spent 4 hours with her. That is a day I will never forget.

Unfortunately, as with most romantic relationships in India, my family opposed our relationship. It was actually less of an opposition and more of a systematic brainwashing. I dont blame them though, they just did what they felt was best for my future. They never said an outright no. My relatives took turns at pointing out the hardships I would have to face in a life with her. My mom kept hinting at how she would love it if I settled down with someone a little more traditional and conservative. My dad complained about how she seemed to be pulling me away from my other near and dear ones. They didn't actually have to try very hard or for very long. I knew that they were right; she was very reluctant to settle down in India, and life would indeed have been very tough. To my mind, at that age, that was enough. I was just a confused adolescent who had no idea where he wanted to take his life.

I broke up with her soon after. Like I said before, she didn't care at all. She has far too many admirers to miss one scrawny 16 year old. I didn't feel all that bad either. I told myself that it was just an infatuation and I still believe it was one. There were no emotional scars and I still don't feel bad about it. It just faded away, just like my boyhood craze for Hotwheels cars. I do meet her once in a while though. She still welcomes me with open arms whenever I go to her. She stays just 20 minutezs away from college. We go there once in a while and she is always there, just as beautiful as ever.

( This a post about a phase in my life when my ambition was to become a Marine Biologist. I used to love the oceans and I still do, though it has mellowed down a bit. That is one of the reasons why I named my blog Debris in the Sea. Its so vast and inexplored that it strangely reminds me of life. There is a lot of stuff u find in it - driftwood and lots of junk. Once in a while though you come across a shiny shell or a piece of sea glass or if you are really lucky a spanish doubloon!! This blog is a collection of my treasures from the sea. My bits of sea glass.)


I wanted to name my blog Nemo.. u know... after the nameless captain of the Nautilus. I thought it added a sense of mystery to it. Or maybe I just liked the guy,or rather the idea that was the man ... Nemo. The fearless wanderer of the seas; captain of a crew of the hardiest seamen in the world - men of different nations, brought together under the banner of the Nautilus. He appealed to me - his sense of loss and his thirst for revenge; his rage, courage, compassion and honour. To me he's still the perfect anti-hero. I loved him when I first read the book and I still do.

The romantic in me just cant let of him. I used to dream of a life like his or like Tarzan's (one of my other childhood heroes). They are out of societies grasp yet capture its imagination. They manifest its deepest fears and yet are its greatest heroes.

Of course these aren't the main reasons why I like Nemo. I like Nemo because, when i was a kid he helped me dream and now, when I have forgotten how to do that, he reminds me of those days when I believed that even I could one day be a Nemo myself. Well who says I can't?... I may very well be the next Tarzan..... no..... Batman seems cooler. I think I'll be Batman!